The title says it all, really: I suck at The Binding of Isaac. I’m abysmal. Steam says I’ve played the game for 14 hours, but it feels like a lifetime. I just die over and over and over again. I’ve never beaten Mom. I’ve played for 14 hours and I’ve never beaten Mom. In fact, I only recall even getting to Mom once. I’m seriously that bad.
Now I confess, I’m not quite as bad as the screenshots I brought to this post for emphasis, but I really don’t know how to win this game. Some of my friends just say, “but AtlantanKnight, you’re bad at every game!” to which I reply, “Yes. Yes, I am. But I am especially bad at The Binding of Isaac.”
My failure to win at The Binding of Isaac mostly just stems from the jumping x things. I don’t know their proper name, but I’m sure any of you who’ve played the game know exactly what I’m talking about. The jumping x’s… they murder me. Then the burning jumping x’s come and murder me all over again. At the end of the day, it’s as if it’s my Steam profile writing, “Dear Diary, Today I Died” instead of Isaac. It’s pathetic.
I just wanted to get my woeful story of my gameplay off of my chest. I was told the Binding of Isaac community is a bit elitist, so I’m sure anyone who finds this will get a kick out of my failures. I’ll make sure to post updates on my progress if I ever get some good games in and beat Mom someday.
Let me know in the comments or on Twitter @ATLknight7 if you think this game is actually difficult or if I just suck. Cheers, and thanks for reading!