I Am Bread is the Most Infuriating Video Game of All Time

I Am Bread is a game developed and published by Bossa Studios, the same devs who brought us Surgeon Simulator.In essence, the title says it all: you are bread. The game is played from the perspective of a piece of bread. The objective is to turn yourself into toast in a timely manner without compromising your own edibility.

I bought the game about a year ago thinking that it sounded so stupid, it must surely be fun. At this point, I’m beginning to rethink that previous notion. The game isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s almost idiotic to the point of not being any fun. Once you get past the hilarity of being a piece of bread, you quickly realize how absurdly the difficult the game actually is. The controls are terrible. Bread is not mobile in any way, and the game developers made sure to make the most realistic bread physics possible.

The bread flops around. The bread flips over wildly. The bread loses grip right next to the edge of a shelf and tumbles sadly to the dirty floor below. Admittedly, I have been playing on a keyboard, and the game recommends a console controller, but I see no way in which a controller would actually grant you better control over the bread. I also learned after some months of owning this game that you can change the camera settings so they don’t whip around in the wrong direction. Maybe I’m missing some other tricks about controlling the bread?

I’d recommend buying this game if it’s on sale (as it was when I purchased it), you thoroughly enjoy stupid games, and you don’t mind getting extremely angry at a piece of virtual bread. As for me, all I can say is… next time I want toast, I’m just gonna use the toaster.

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